By Ruth Lorenzen
After years of abuse and severe stress within the Church of Scientology (COS), I decided that I would rather not pursue their "path to eternal freedom", and instead decided to exchange that pursuit for a more peaceful life. The stress was just too much. So I decided to no longer be a Scientologist.
I tried to just fade away, but COS doesn't allow you to do that. I didn't know how much COS resembled a cult... but I sure got a crash course in cult behaviors after I decided to quit!
I spent six months trying to get back some of my money. The Church of Scientology says that you can do that, that they'll refund the money promptly on the condition that you can never again participate in their techniques with them. That was acceptable to me. But the money didn't come promptly. After much fuss and bother, I was able to get some of the money back. Mind you, that money was money I'd paid COS for courses or "spiritual" counseling that I would take in the future. It wasn't money that had been used already; it was like in a savings account. Again, COS assisted me in my crash course about cults over a six month period.
About two weeks after I got some of my money, I received in the mail the infamous "Suppressive Person Declare" telling one and all within Scientology that I had betrayed Scientology by leaving and asking for money back. And then COS proceeded with a long litany of evils I had allegedly "done to them." These were, of course, lies and exaggerations.
I communicated to COS that those lies (and the distribution of those lies) was libel with the sole intent to further punish me for leaving Scientology. I received a ridiculous reply stating the exact opposite of Scientology policy and usual procedures. I sought an attorney, who likewise saw the declaration as libel-with-intent-to-punish, who wrote a letter to the Church of Scientology.
Scientology responded with further ridiculous lies about their policy and even scolded the attorney for getting involved in "an ecclesiastical matter" — in other words, for butting in to their business. The letter clearly showed the intentions of COS to continue to spread the lies amongst the local community of Scientologists, including amongst people with whom I work and associate on business matters.
This enraged me no end.
Up until this point, I had been courteous enough to be willing to fade away and say nothing about Scientology, to get on with my life, to not speak out against Scientology, nor tell others that I had left their membership. But that courtesy was not something the Church of Scientology recognizes (COS considers it a weakness instead).
In fact, part of my hiding my ex-Scientology status is that it is embarrassing to say one belonged to a cult. I was a proud Scientologist when I was in COS. But after leaving, it's kind of embarrassing to admit that one had been suckered into a cult. And so I would have preferred to remain silent. But with COS waging an "information war" against me in my own town (a "disinformation campaign"), I felt compelled to get the truth out in the open.
If COS was going to spread lies about me in my own community and amongst my friends and business associates, I was jolly well going to tell my side of the story. I had a lot of friends in COS who knew me well, who knew me to not be an evil person, to be compassionate and caring, passionate about Scientology, bright and competent. Maybe they would have to hear or read what COS wrote about me, or that COS had declared me a suppressive person, but if the person was curious or disbelieving they might actually find my website and read the story from my perspective.
I don't expect people within COS to read my website and decide to leave, or decide that COS's Suppress Person Declare on me was false. It would be nice, but I don't expect it. I do, however, expect some people who knew me to realize that the COS-authored-and-distributed Suppressive Person Declare was an act of revenge and injustice. Or perhaps someone in COS might see that their own "personal hells" and injustices within COS are not limited to them alone.
I knew that I would lose "friends" and business associates. I know the rules of the game within Scientology. I chose to leave COS knowing full well that I would most likely lose these associations and I started to distance myself from Scientologists and to start new relationships and associations with people outside of COS. But it's one thing to know that your "friend" is going to stop seeing you, it's quite another thing entirely to experience the pain and hurt when your "friend" betrays you for the benefit of a cult.
I later decided that my website could serve as testimony to the bizarre behavior of COS and a personal testimonial of one person's experience within that cult — my experience. There's so much out on the internet already about COS, but a personal testimony always makes the most interesting reading.
Later, after ridiculous behaviors by other Scientologists towards me, I decided to add the "Hall of Shame" webpage. I tell it like it is — time, place, form and event. And names! COS tries to intimidate leaving members into doing nothing, saying nothing, and cowering in the corner. I decided to react opposite of their expectations. Yell to the rooftops! Tell everyone! Disclose everything! The more COS tries to harass me, the MORE I will disclose on my website. (You think you've already read the dirt? That ain't the half of it!)
Yes, names! Too many Scientologists are "closet Scientologists". They don't want outsiders to know they are Scientologists because they know the public perception of Scientology is bad (not outright know it, because they deny it to themselves, but there's a part of them that does know it). These Scientologists make cliques of fellow Scientologists: they hire each other, do business with each other, make fun of outsiders, talk about how they're going to turn Clearwater Florida into the first "Scientology Town". Yes, I intend to shame these people who behave badly, and to make it known within our community that they are indeed Scientologists, and that they behave just like Scientology has been reported to behave for decades. Google these people's names and you'll probably come up with my "Hall of Shame" webpage. I planned it that way.
I have but small compassion for those still in the cult, not knowing that they're trapped in a cult but behaving and mimicking the cult's behaviors to punish outsiders. I was there myself, and I got out. Somehow, I broke from my false-fantasy into a wakefulness that allowed me to escape. Until the day that each "old friend" gets out, they will likely be an adversary (but only if they know I am out of COS). I highly recommend they keep their distance from me, because any harassments will appear publicly on the Internet — one shameful incident at a time.
And the day any old friend leaves the cult is the day they become my friend again. No hard feelings towards them, no regrets, full of compassion and understanding, and real help. I was, after all, there myself. I know firsthand the pain and hurt and difficulties an ex-cult member will experience when they leave. I just hope my old friends wake up soon so we can be reunited. And I hope they don't get bashed up too badly before they leave.
May the Church of Scientology rot in hell!
Copyright 2008 Ruth Lorenzen. You may freely link to this article on my website, but may not reproduce it on your own website or a message board. Permission is granted to download and print this article for the purpose of viewing, reading and retaining for reference. Any other copying, distribution, retransmission or modification of this article, whether in electronic or hard-copy form, without express prior written permission by me is strictly prohibited.